Another Disappointing Falafel

Yeah, all falafel in Spain is shit. Why do they insist on microwaving it? Why is there never any hummus? I had forgotten what it was like, the hopeful beginning followed by the disappointing end. I don’t know why I do it to myself sometimes. I was in a new city, Valencia, spending a week at a language school nearby- Campus Albufera. Valencia may be famous for Paella, but I needed to try a falafel, that much was clear. But fate was driving me away from the falafel every time, it seemed. The nearest town to the school had no takeaways whatsoever, no vegan food, nothing. The first time I went into the city of Valencia however, I simply wasn’t hungry when I spied a falafel tienda, a rare occurrence in itself. I had wolfed down a jar of lentils in desperation at the lack of cheap and vegan food earlier that morning. The second time, Google, those paranoid bastards, had locked me out of my own account and I had wasted the entire afternoon sending them increasingly furious emails on their complaints form. The perfect thing to calm me down after such a frustrating experience would have been a tasty wrap of deep fried chickpeas with salad, but I couldn’t find one anywhere.

No Falafel Here

My terrible directional skills mixed with a ludicrously early last bus meant I simply didn’t have time to locate one. And so, I packed up early from the language school on my final day and slipped out, just in order to slip one in. I trawled around the port area, asking people where I could find a falafel nearby. Eventually, after much confusion,  I was directed to a promising looking kebab shop. Yep, they had it. But at what cost?

First of all, it was indeed, costly. A falafel plus soft drink came to a whopping 5 euros. The quality? Typically shit.

The Review – Eshal Food Planet, Avenida del Porto 328, ValenciaIMGA0219

I quickly asked for no disgusting salsa blanca before he lathered it on, and instead went for the spicy sauce. Of course, there was no hummus. The spicy sauce was slopped on liberally but was neither that spicy or very tasty, a sort of weird bbq mix with tomato-ey overtones, which completely overshadowed the rest of the falafel.

The wrap came more than slightly opened. This made it very difficult to eat. Eating a falafel is often messy anyway, without the added challenge of a half wrapped wrap.


I had a look to see what type of salad they had given me. I immediately noticed a greening tomato languishing in amongst the other lacklustre salad (red cabbage, lettuce, far too much onion, your usual suspects). The falafel itself was microwaved, which I could tell by the texture, but couldn’t work out the flavour due to the previously mentioned sauce explosion.

overly sauced and messy to eat

On the other side of the coin, it was absolutely huge and I did enjoy it in a lovely area of Valencia, by the port which is just delightful. Sort of. It’s a mixture of old and new, a snazzy yachting area with clean beaches mixed with crumbling and beautifully designed old buildings. But I enjoyed the contrast, anyway.

Falafel 1/5

Salad 2/5

Bread 2.5/5

Sauce- 1/5

Overall- just rubbish.



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