Eat out to help out

We at have done our bit to rebuild Britain post lock down by selflessly chowing down on half price food for the past few weeks. I know, where’s the clapping for me, eh? To be quite honest the food has been sub par – a really lack lustre selection of falafel and pasties have been consumed, all to save the economy. You’re welcome.

ratemyfalafel have been enjoying the increasingly bizarre contradictory messages scattered around town

When stranded in Bristol for a few hours one Monday morning the real challenge was finding somewhere doing the deal. We wandered around several places that weren’t open or had decided not to do the deal, before choosing somewhere on the Harbourside. It had an excellent view of a portly chap’s bare chest and belly as he napped on his boat. That’s where the positives ended. I ordered a veggie breakfast without the eggs, which I noted came with a falafel burger. I asked if I could have something else instead of the eggs, to which the youth replied ‘not per se’. It was quickly established that he meant ‘no’. My partner ordered a pizza.

The food arrived fairly quickly, but l wish they’d taken a bit longer on it. The experience was dry. The falafel tasted more like an onion baji, and was slightly burnt at the edges. The rest of the breakfast consisted of some shrivelled mushrooms, under cooked oven chips, a tiny amount of baked beans and dry toast of poor quality.

The pizza looked like the chef had just chucked a few peppers and cheese on a bit of bread and cooked it for 30 secs in a microwave, which is probably exactly what happened.

Mackenzies bar and restaurant, Harbourside

The price was right however, coming to 7 pounds for both meals and drinks. Verdict?  1/5.

I also went for a lunch at Wapping Wharf near the Extinction Rebellion protest that was going on last weekend. There were various do-gooders hanging around, but I was far more interested in getting a decent lunch. We opted for Biblos at Calypso Kitchen because everywhere else was too busy. But you can’t go wrong with a Biblos. My friend got a large salad box with falafel and vegan jerk chicken. I went for a wrap. The food took million years to arrive, by which time my son had grown impatient and wanted to roam free. He entertained himself by pulling clumps of my hair out. When my wrap arrived it fell apart immediately and the contents slopped out in an unattractive manner. The salad was good, however.

On to the review

Intoxication – sober as a judge

Bread – shit

Falafel – 4/5

Salad 3/5

Do you have any falafel or Pasty experiences, lockdown or since? Let us know by emailing or commenting on this post!


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