Guess That’s Why They Call it Window PAIN.

It had been a disastrous few weeks in My New Bristol Life, with everything ranging from being fired in my first week of work, getting the clap…, getting caught shoplifting and breaking my own bedroom window. Read all about it here, in my other blog where I mainly complain about things.

However, I think you can all guess what my go to, fix all solution for these type of problems are. That’s right, it was time to try the local.

Whilst ruminating together on the unfortunate 4 milimetre difference in the glass we bought and the size of the window, the window of opportunity presented itself to grab a falafel and fill our bellies before what looked to be a much longer task than we had imagined. My friend, who had kindly offered to help fix my cracked pane, had convinced me that the job wouldn’t take more than a few hours. We cracked to it, running to the local shop for beers and then ordering a falafel and hummus wrap each. I stood in the falafel joint, which also sold the normal takeaway food stuffs- pizza, burgers, you know the type. It was well presented and clean, and the staff seemed friendly and courteous.

I had been putting off this trip for a while, to be perfectly frank. What if our local was no good? We would be forced to trek to the other one, the famous Biblos, which was a good extra 5 minutes away. (Review to come later).

I drummed my fingers impatiently and nervously took in the array of salads on offer. The normal stuff, lettuce, onion, tomato, Jalapeño peppers, and cucumber. I declined the cucumber but went for everything else. The hummus was dolloped on generously and the falafel was freshly fried, a light brown colour in the middle and roasted darker on the crusty top. There was one thing to note, however, whilst seeing the sandwich artist put together these falafel wraps. He was using some sort of ice cream cone to make the wrap! It was extraordinary.

Rushing back to the flat, we tested out the falafel. On biting in I was immediately impressed by the falafel itself. It tasted fresh, moist and delicious. The hummus had an almost nutty taste which was very complementary and the chilli sauce was not overly sloppy.

However, the wrap itself badly let the falafel down. We at RATEMYFALAFEL.COM take our task very seriously. We therefore sampled not 1, but 5 of these falafels over the course of the next week, getting everyone involved. We all came to the same conclusion. The wrapping, was shit. It just wasn’t wrapped properly, to the extent that falafel would fall out whilst eating, something that was prone to making a messy situation even messier.

Another RMF reviewer also commented that ‘as an onion lover, I have to say that there was far too much onion.’

That’s a wrap, folks. On to the Scores.

Royal Lebanese Kebab

15 Gloucester Rd, Bristol, Avon BS7 8AA

Price £3.50

Salad- 3/5 (no olives)
Bread- 3/5 (standard bread, nought special there)
Falafel – 5/5 (v.good)
Service- 3/5 with a smile but minus points for the unnecessary ‘darlin’
Intoxication – 3/5
Minus 3 points for terrible wrapping job.
Total 3/5

Needless to say, we smashed out the remaining window, which cut up all of my hand which then got infected, and I spent the next 4 days sleeping in a tent in my room as we unsuccessful chiselled out at of the window frame to fit the stupid glass in. I now have a partially functioning window, which I regard as a success.