“Shawarma Estambul”

Calle San Bernardo

11207 Algeciras, Cádiz, Andalucia

It was raining hard. A careless driver had splashed me harshly as I rushed to a cash point, soaking me from the knees down. I had a four hour bus journey ahead of me, and fifteen minutes to spare. I could definitely squeeze one in.

I hurried in through the door of the conveniently located falafel shop, just five doors down from the bus station. The Falafel Shop, otherwise known as a fast food take-away, or kebab shop, was clean and orderly, with no queue and a pleasing diversity of fresh-looking salads. The attendant was kind-faced and although his answer – “The bus station is down there” – hardly fitted my question – “You have humous?” – we smiled it off.

It turned out they didn’t have humous, only a “garlic” sauce, more of which later. Nonetheless, the wrap was assembled generously with the aforementioned salad and put on the grill. Five minutes later, we were handed a hefty wrap shielded in neat, smooth foil.

By the time of ingestion, a good seven minutes later due to transport issues, the falafel wrap had already begun to disintegrate. A mélange of chili and mayonnaise-based sauces dripped enthusiastically onto the crotches of our jeans. The falafel itself had a soft and flakey texture, having not been deep-fried, but despite this was not too dry.

Despite the cum stains the attempt was, on the whole, not bad. Plus points for olives, tasty falafel and convenient location. Minus for runny sauces – we ended up covered in thin mayonnaise and leaning over a plastic bag. No adult should need a bib, even if they are wearing a nappy.

Level of intoxication: 1.5/5

Flavour of Actual Falafel: 3.5/5

Condiments: 2/5

Salad: 3.5/5

Service: 3.5/5

Total: 3/5